Comments on One Angry Daughter: You are Only Fooling Yourself

I stumbled across this blog somewhat accidentally,...

2009-11-16T05:22:25.805-08:00

I stumbled across this blog somewhat accidentally, but I read this story of your family's alcohol problems, and I agree that you were right in "getting the poison out" by talking about it, even if it may seem embarrassing or like some kind of betrayal.

I think you took a courageous and responsible step by admitting that yes, there have been (possibly still are?) problems. Beyond that, though, I got the sense that you're actually trying to *fix* things, and that's just great. :)

Everyone has problems, in life; it's the ones who choose to overcome them that I really look up to. Kudos to you, and best wishes in your efforts to deal with a rough past.

Thanks for your comments. @Maeve It was really ...

2009-11-11T15:35:34.631-08:00

Thanks for your comments.

@Maeve It was really hard to write -- and it was really, really angry and decided to edit out most of the four letter words that were in there to begin with.

Kinda felt freeing - like I don't have to hide it anymore and there it all is - so that felt good. Though right after I posted it, I felt really bad and guilty and wanted to pull it down. I'm glad I left it up.

@FacingForward - as always, I'm amazed at how much our past has in common. The pharmacist's comments prove it! People out side the family can see what is going on.

@Roma - the discription of your mother and sister making fun of you for not drinking really hit me! Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

@schmadrian - there were a lot of replies to that article! Thanks for finding my blog and leaving a comment. Thank you for your encouragement. You are a good friend to pass that information on to people who need it.

Great post. I come from an N family too. I had a...

2009-11-11T12:17:07.011-08:00

Great post. I come from an N family too. I had a similar experience also where my N mother encouraged me to drink at age 15. Actually younger. I couldn't finger point if I drank too. She and my older sister would make fun of me for not drinking. When I was 10 years old she got a dui and I knew about it but she continued to lie and deny she had gotten one. I like your post. I am a mother with 2 boys 4 and 6 months. I love being a mother and it is the happiest I have been in my life. Too bad I have to deal with N mother now but I was in such denial about her until I became a mother. I have been no contact for 2 years. I think it is the only way. How to I set boundaries with a woman who can never respect them?

I found your blog as a result of the NYT article o...

2009-11-09T15:01:12.193-08:00

I found your blog as a result of the NYT article on toxic parents a few weeks back. (I read ALL the comments.) I am continually astounded by your words, your courage...as I am of all survivors of NPD. It's something I have no personal history of in my family, so in a way, it's been an astounding learning experience for me.

Though I have no family experience in this area, I have three dear friends I've shared links with who have most definitely been affected by NPD-afflicted parents, and in my continued reading, am making connections in stories related to me going back years. It's been such a good thing for these friends of mine to know that what they've long struggled with is not so rare...nor does it necessarily need to be something that rules their lives.

Thanks again for the opportunity to read your posts, and good luck in your efforts.

You are brave, OAD, and SO aware. It's amazing how...

2009-11-09T09:02:16.968-08:00

You are brave, OAD, and SO aware.
It's amazing how alcoholics/addicts act as if there is no problem.
My Nm was didn't drink b/c her father was a raging alcoholic, yet she took pain pills for years.
But she walked around bragging about her alcohol-free household and after growing up with her father, she 'just wouldn't have it'.
Yet her pills were ok b/c they were for her 'migraines'.
I was sent to the pharmacy weekly to pick up her stash (unbeknownst to me).
One day as an adult in my early twenties I ran into the pharmacist who used to fill her scripts--
I said hello to him, told him my name and he said: 'oh yeah, you're mom was the one hooked on all those Fioricets and pain pills'.
I was mortified b/c I had no idea, but it all became really clear.

And for the alcohol, her brothers were pretty much all alcholics, as is my cousin, but no one defines it as such b/c they are wealthy and so functional.
My Nm equates alcoholism with her father: drunk, passed out and losing yet another job, etc. Those who are functional, employed, etc, 'couldn't be' alcoholics in her mind.

Great post--
Good for you for seeing this so clearly.
Be proud of your bravery!

This must have been really hard to write.

2009-11-09T06:33:25.317-08:00

This must have been really hard to write.

Hi Katie! I'll need to check that one out! Thank...

2009-11-09T05:21:36.286-08:00

Hi Katie! I'll need to check that one out! Thank you.

Itsreallytrue - no, I'm not Soaring Dove, but if you are looking for her this is her website ==> http://dealingwithtoxicpeople.blogspot.com/

Hey OAD...you're so right that we were the cute li...

2009-11-09T04:14:29.857-08:00

Hey OAD...you're so right that we were the cute little sponges...

have you ever checked out bpdfamily.com ? they have a great support site...

soaringdove? miss you. itreallyistrue and endofthe...

2009-11-09T02:21:47.243-08:00

soaringdove? miss you. itreallyistrue and endoftherainbow